I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
