Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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