He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
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Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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