I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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