they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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