$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
