Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
