the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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