i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
