So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
