They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
