it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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