He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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