I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
