True but thats because hes a fetus.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
did you just send me my own nude
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
