It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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