belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
