I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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