Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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