is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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