Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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