i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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