His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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