So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
