im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
