I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
