he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
nutella sex= disaster
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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