your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
