Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
