That's intense
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
