spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
