just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
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