hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
there's paper in my vomit.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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