Barsexuality is the new black.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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