Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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