Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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