I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
