And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
