Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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