i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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