good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
how does that bad decision feel?
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