its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
