there was a trapeze. enough said
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
