their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
