Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
