I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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