just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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