Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
