You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
