The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
