There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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